Recently I have come under immense conviction and believe that God is revealing to me an idol in my life. I also believe that this idol is pervasive within the American Christian culture. As I was listening to one of my pastor’s speak yesterday, he made the point that the American identity is completely built around consumerism. When asked the question, “What does America stand for” some might answer Freedom, and although, I believe this was once true, America’s identity has ceased to be found in freedom, and is now being found in what we do with that freedom, namely the pursuit of stuff. When we think of America, it's identity doesn’t make it much past Wal-mart and Wall Street. To a large degree, America (including myself) is squandering its freedom by worshipping the god beneath our noses. We declare with our lives that we value comfort and convenience over Christ.
I am confessing this as sin, and at the same time asking the question, “what does repentance look like?” My wife and I have a substantial amount of debt that has accrued because underneath it all we thought we deserved to have a “comfortable” life, and ultimately we believed (wrongly so) God would make provision for our entitlement. We said “God will provide” while going in debt for things we “needed”. This revealed that we were not trusting in God, rather we were attempting to manipulate God to give us what we wanted when we wanted it, because we thought we defined what our needs were, not him.
Upon reflection, I have found that this belief is so deeply rooted in my heart, as to go the very core of my identity. For example, I have believed that I am trapped to continue in this pursuit of more… in order for me to be a good provider, and because in order to be a good provider my wife and children must have ……"nice things”, “good education”, “opportunity”. I had not noticed the self perpetuating cycle that I was leading my family towards. I am now evaluating my life and pondering what my response to God revealing my sin should be. I am pondering second jobs, turning off everything unnecessary to our survival, and even selling our house as my notion of what my living conditions “should be” are overturned. This is not an easy pill to swallow, however I see how this idolatry hinders my obedience to God and ultimately my usefulness for the Gospel. I believe that God wants all of us to ask the question, am I valuing Christ over comfort and convenience in my every decision?
Matthew 6:21
21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
1 comment:
That's a tough one. I've been convicted of that notion from the point of what type of work/legacy do I want to leave behind. What do I want to put my strength, mind and soul towards. I keep asking myself what should my primary goal, "personally", be. Pretty heavy stuff that is going to demand a big turn in life. I'm glad you are also thinking about that as well.
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